If I’m being perfectly honest, one of the main reasons I started this blog was to help further my business, to help expend my reach beyond my very limited social circle. But as I go through this journey of starting a home-based business, I’m finding that I want to document it. I want to be able to look back and remember where I was when I started, to remember that even on hard days, I knew that success would be inevitable because I wanted it bad enough and was willing to work hard enough to make it happen. I want to remind myself during this process of that crystal clarity that comes with having a concrete goal, even if it seems a little crazy at first.
As I talk to friends and family about my business, I hedge. I say I’m “doing it for fun” or to “earn a little extra money.” But I’m going to own it right now – I want the dream. I want to be able to support my family and stay home with my little boy and future babies. I want to be able to make my own hours and help other people do the same. I want to get to the point where I can help other people achieve success. I want to be one of the gals that does the enrollment events and talks about how their life has changed. Not just for money, but for freedom and the ability to always be there for doctor’s appointments, t-ball games, and recitals. To be able to take a vacation without using the credit card or cringing at an over-priced lunch. I want that.
I don’t say that out loud to anyone but my husband because it feels silly. It doesn’t feel like something realistic to shoot for. But you know what? If those women can do this, so can I. It won’t be easy. But easy isn’t any fun. It will be hard work, but I can do hard work. I’m not a natural salesman and won’t ever be, but I can learn. I can put in the effort and use the resources available to me to learn how to share my excitement over these products with others. I can learn how to use the internet to get my message out to people. I am extremely skilled in a couple of things. One of those things is being stubborn in pursuit of things that are really important to me. I am unmitigatedly awesome at persevering. That’s why I fell in love with distance running – you don’t have to be fast, you just have to be stubborn.
I earned my black belt when I was 17. During the two and a half hour test there was a point where I was told to hit a heavy bag until I was done. I immediately knew that I would not stop until they told me to. 45 minutes later, I had worn all the skin off my knuckles and they finally told me to stop.
I ran a marathon. There were mornings that I got up at 2 am to fit my runs in, but I did it. It took me over six hours to finish, but I did it… and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I got my Bachelor’s degree in Accounting while working full time… then pregnant… then with a small child. It took me four years, but I did it. There were tears and nights with little to no sleep, but I never gave up. I thought about it. Boy did I think about. But every time I seriously considered quitting, I knew I couldn’t because I don’t have it in me to quit something that is important.
I don't say these things to brag, but to remind myself that I can do hard things. I need this blog to remind me that this is something that’s important. It’s important to me and to my family. I can do this and I will do this. It is a big dream, but so was getting a black belt (that took six years of training), running a marathon (years of training and four months solid of EARLY mornings), and earning my degree. Big dreams are the scariest, but I am not afraid of failing. I know I will fail…many, many times. But ultimately failure is not the falling down, but the staying down – and I refuse to stay down.