"... In a World Telling Them Not To"

"Shout-out to all the women trying to love themselves in a world telling them not to." This popped up on my Instagram feed recently and it rubbed me the wrong way. Now, don't get me wrong, I think everyone should love themselves, but the thing that bugged me is the "in a world telling them not to" bit. It seems to be a predominate message these days that the "world" or society is holding people back and telling them they are not worthy. While I agree that the intent of this message is positive - designed to make people feel proud of loving themselves, which is great - it does it in the same breath as telling them that the world doesn't want them to.

I'm going to go out in left field for a minute, so bear with me. Have you ever been totally fine with someone until an outside party tells you that he/she doesn't like you? Suddenly you pick up on an underlying attitude. Seemingly benign statements suddenly have an undercurrent of resentment or passive-aggressiveness. All of their actions come under additional scrutiny looking for ill-intent or underlying meaning.

In general, what we expect to see in the world, we see. If we look around, expecting the world to push us down and tell us negative things about ourselves, that is unquestioningly what we are going to see. Looking at the world through that lens is going to take every one of our insecurities and magnify them.I am plus-sized. If I turn on the TV and see that most actors/actresses aren't plus-sized, should I take that to mean that I'm not worthy? No. If I get on a plane and feel squished in the small seats, should I take that to mean that the airline thinks I'm not worthy? No. They try to squeeze as many people as they can to increase their profit margin. My knees are also jammed into the seat in front of me because I'm tall. Should I feel bad about being tall? 

There is always going to be negativity in the world, especially on the internet, but what if we shifted our perspective? What if, instead of telling children that the world wants them to fail because they are part of one group or another, we told them that if they work hard, they can do anything? What if we raised our kids to feel good about themselves without requiring external validation? What if we told them that sometimes people are mean, not because they are not good enough, but because that person is going through a hard time, or is self-conscious about their own insecurities?

I'm not suggesting we gloss over all of the ugliness in the world, but simply stop assuming the worst in every situation. Life is complicated, society is complicated, but if we start trying to view things through a positive (or at least neutral) lens, I think we will be much happier in our own lives and maybe that positivity can start to spread.

Best wishes,

~Megan

Documenting The Journey - Dreams and Stubbornness

If I’m being perfectly honest, one of the main reasons I started this blog was to help further my business, to help expend my reach beyond my very limited social circle. But as I go through this journey of starting a home-based business, I’m finding that I want to document it. I want to be able to look back and remember where I was when I started, to remember that even on hard days, I knew that success would be inevitable because I wanted it bad enough and was willing to work hard enough to make it happen. I want to remind myself during this process of that crystal clarity that comes with having a concrete goal, even if it seems a little crazy at first.

As I talk to friends and family about my business, I hedge. I say I’m “doing it for fun” or to “earn a little extra money.” But I’m going to own it right now – I want the dream. I want to be able to support my family and stay home with my little boy and future babies. I want to be able to make my own hours and help other people do the same. I want to get to the point where I can help other people achieve success. I want to be one of the gals that does the enrollment events and talks about how their life has changed. Not just for money, but for freedom and the ability to always be there for doctor’s appointments, t-ball games, and recitals. To be able to take a vacation without using the credit card or cringing at an over-priced lunch. I want that.

I don’t say that out loud to anyone but my husband because it feels silly. It doesn’t feel like something realistic to shoot for. But you know what? If those women can do this, so can I. It won’t be easy. But easy isn’t any fun. It will be hard work, but I can do hard work. I’m not a natural salesman and won’t ever be, but I can learn. I can put in the effort and use the resources available to me to learn how to share my excitement over these products with others. I can learn how to use the internet to get my message out to people. I am extremely skilled in a couple of things. One of those things is being stubborn in pursuit of things that are really important to me. I am unmitigatedly awesome at persevering. That’s why I fell in love with distance running – you don’t have to be fast, you just have to be stubborn.

I earned my black belt when I was 17. During the two and a half hour test there was a point where I was told to hit a heavy bag until I was done. I immediately knew that I would not stop until they told me to. 45 minutes later, I had worn all the skin off my knuckles and they finally told me to stop.

I ran a marathon. There were mornings that I got up at 2 am to fit my runs in, but I did it. It took me over six hours to finish, but I did it… and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

I got my Bachelor’s degree in Accounting while working full time… then pregnant… then with a small child. It took me four years, but I did it. There were tears and nights with little to no sleep, but I never gave up. I thought about it. Boy did I think about. But every time I seriously considered quitting, I knew I couldn’t because I don’t have it in me to quit something that is important.

I don't say these things to brag, but to remind myself that I can do hard things. I need this blog to remind me that this is something that’s important. It’s important to me and to my family. I can do this and I will do this. It is a big dream, but so was getting a black belt (that took six years of training), running a marathon (years of training and four months solid of EARLY mornings), and earning my degree. Big dreams are the scariest, but I am not afraid of failing. I know I will fail…many, many times. But ultimately failure is not the falling down, but the staying down – and I refuse to stay down.

Best wishes,

~Megan

Feeling Motivated

I have to say, I am feeling motivated! When I started down the path of direct sales, I was seriously skeptical. Can I really do this? Do I want to do this? The answer is definitely - yes! While this is a resounding yes, it does comes with some caveats. I absolutely want to do this, BUT I don't want to be a sales person. I don't want to be the pushy person that makes people feel uncomfortable - that is something I don't want to do and am not willing to do. 

Feelin' Sassy

I am discovering that, like so many things in life, there is a way to do things in a way that works for you that you can feel good about. It might be a slower path than some people take, but it is a path that I am feeling really good about and that makes me excited. It makes me want to face my fears and try new things. It makes me feel like it's possible for me to be one of those people. The ones who are successful. Everyone of the women I look up to that are successful started out where I am today. If they can do it, I can do it. I just have to want it bad enough and work hard enough...and persevere enough to get there too.

I need to remember to direct some of this feel-good energy towards my weight loss as well. It's really easy to get excited about a shiny new thing and lose focus on other things. I've been slacking this week. For some reason my brain is urging me to go for the calorie high score like its a game of Candy Crush. I need to envision the person I want to be and act like she would act. The ideal me eats nutritious meals in reasonable quantities. She works hard and enjoys her runs. She stays focused on the things that are important to her. So that's what I'm going to do.

This is exactly how I felt this morning. She gets me.

I'm on a good track so far today. I woke up crazy tired, but gave myself a little bit of an internal pep talk when my alarm when off. Instead of thinking, "oh my GAWWWDD, I'm so tired. I want to go back to bed." I thought, "ok, I can do this. I'm going to get up and get going and it's going to feel amazing." And it did. I got up and started moving around, knowing my joints would loosen up the more I moved (side note: I have psoriatic arthritis, so I often wake up feeling really stiff). I started walking and after about ten minutes decided to pick it up to a jog and finished out three miles - and it felt awesome!

So here we go folks, let's get with it today and give it our best shot....but there may still need to be some caffeine. I'm motivated, not superhuman. :O)

Best wishes,

~Megan

Family Fun, Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! I hope you are all able to take a little bit of time today to relax and enjoy this day set aside to acknowledge the miracle that is motherhood. I would like to take a moment to give a special thanks to my own mom for making my childhood something I look back on with joy:

Picture of my Mom and Sister

Mom, you always made me feel safe. You always made life seem like a fun adventure and you taught me the lessons that I needed to succeed. I am so grateful that my boy is able to spend time with you and gets love you as much as I do. Being your daughter has been one of the great privileges of my life and watching you love my little boy is truly a wonder to behold. Thanks, Mamma Llama I love you more than you'll ever know.

Ok, ok, now that all the mushy stuff is out of the way: Yesterday was gorgeous! We met my in-laws out at a lake that is about 45 minutes outside of town and hung out for the evening with my in-laws, Cody's sister and brother-in-law, and two of their kids. There were lots of laughs and stories about my fella's childhood that I hadn't heard (I'm sure Cody was glad his sister was in a sharing mood).

Grandma and her boy

 After dinner, me, my mother-in-law, and my nephew went kayaking. It was so peaceful. I was a smidge-bit bummed that the hoard of turtles I'd heard so much about had evening plans and were no longer sunning on the group of fallen logs in the cove.

We were extremely spoiled because the men folk hauled the kayaks into the water and helped us push off and get out so we didn't even have to get our feet wet. I highly recommend this method.

Safety first!

I remember putting on the same life vest in the photo on the left last summer and worrying whether it would fit or not. When I had to actually cinch it smaller and had extra room leftover I was thrilled! It is such a huge victory to be able to do things like kayaking without being afraid that I won't fit or that I won't be able to keep up. I might not be where I want to be just yet, but I have definitely made progress and I look forwards to enjoying swimming, hiking, and kayaking this summer, knowing that, while I am still self-conscious in a swimsuit, I am fit enough to keep up with my family and my little boy and thoroughly enjoy all of the activities our wonderful area has to offer.

Best wishes,

~Megan

Fears We Don't Face...

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes. It really resonates with me. It is so easy to avoid things that make us uncomfortable. This can morph into a couple of things. It can then become something you've convinced yourself you can't do - and there's no shame in not doing something you can't do, right? Or it becomes something you convince yourself you don't really want to do anyway.

9 months pregnant

This is true in so many areas of our life. When I was considering staring my home-based business, I thought, "well I'll do the online promotion, but I'm not going to talk to people face to face because I'm not good at that and that's not something I want to do." I also decided that I wasn't going to put any additional money into the business until I made x number of dollars. While I am still going to be incredibly frugal, it is wise to invest a little bit of money on things like business cards, right? I realized that I didn't want to sink any money into this because I was afraid of failure. I was afraid I would look foolish and I would end up wasting our very limited finances on something that would just end up being a huge mistake.

I realized that I was letting fear of failure put me in a very small box of what I was willing to try. I had already drawn a line and created a limit for myself. I was already planning to fail.

Today - 85 pounds (and one baby) lighter

I think this is also really common when you're overweight. It is so easy to avoid things that make you uncomfortable. I would (and sometimes still do) avoid things that put me at the center of attention. You're in a group and someone asks for a volunteer? Nope. Doing something physical in a group of people - like a group fitness class? I'll pass, thanks. When standing in a group, I would try to make myself smaller, to not be noticed for any reason. Eventually I realized that these things I convinced myself I didn't want to do were things I avoided because I felt self-conscious. I was uncomfortable with my size so I became someone who was much less adventurous than I once was - I was much less willing to try new things. I told myself that when I got down to a certain weight, then I would try this or that.

I finally came to the conclusion that people were far less concerned about my weight than I was and that even if someone cared, it didn't matter. Why would I let what other people think control my actions? So when an opportunity comes along and my instinct is to decline, I try to stop and think. Do I want to do this? If not why? Do I legitimately not want to, or do I want to avoid it because it makes me uncomfortable. Every time I do something that makes me uncomfortable it get a little bit easier - and as things get easier, I get more comfortable with myself and maintaining healthy habits gets easier as well.

Here's to hoping it keeps getting easier.

Best wishes,

~Megan

My Why

Why start a home-based business?
Anyone that knows me knows that I am NOT a salesperson. Heck, I'm not even a social person. So why on earth would I want to get into direct sales? The shortest answer to that question is...money. I wish that I was a philanthropic angel who got into selling chemical-free skincare and professional makeup for the joy of helping people feel good about themselves. But, while that is an amazing benefit, my primary motivation is money.
                   

Cody in his medic "battle rattle."

In 2010 my husband was away at his National Guard weekend and had a heat stroke. A couple of years and some complications later, he became disabled to the point where he could no longer work. So we suddenly became a single-income household with two-person income expenses. It. Was. Rough. I am incredibly fortunate that between my experience and finishing my education, I was able to get promoted at work to a place that should be fairly comfortable, but lingering debt from years of medical bills and a single income has made things still feel tight.

No shower, but don't worry, there's lipstick.

My wonderful friend Kitty sent me an invitation to attend a Facebook event where four fabulous ladies talked about their journey with LimeLife. They talked about how they went from struggling with money to being able to quit their day jobs and make six figure salaries. As a numbers-nerd, I also tend to be a bit of a pragmatist. My first thought was, "sure, how much does it cost?" Because obviously the snake oil they were peddling must be a massive investment.

When I realized that the cost to get started was minimal and there were no ongoing fees or need to purchase inventory, my interest was piqued. Then I did some research and discovered not a community of competitive sales people who are worried about peers stealing customers, but a community of supportive, caring people who genuinely want you to succeed and are willing to share whatever they know that might help you get to the top. The wealth of information and training available was truly staggering. So I signed up. I decided that if there is an opportunity to ease the constant stress of financial strain, even if it takes me out of my comfort zone, I owe it to myself and my family to give it a try.

Me and My Fella

Of course, the dream would be being able to support my family while being at home with my boy, my fella,  and hopefully soon another baby or two. That seems like a distant dream, but sitting still isn't getting me any closer. I have done a lot of hard things in my life that seemed impossible: I got my black belt when I was 17, I ran a marathon, I gave birth to a human being (seriously, when I was pregnant, I was pretty sure this wasn't even possible), and I finished my Bachelor's degree while working full time... with a small child... with very little sleep. 

I'm not gonna lie, I'm still not a sales person. I have doubts and reservations about whether I can achieve the success  But I have discovered a huge network of people that are ready and willing to help me learn everything I need to know to be successful. I had a professor whose favorite saying was, "others that came before you were able to succeed, you are no less capable then they." I have the tools I need and the desire to be successful, so stick around and watch me work towards overcoming my own awkwardness and sharing some truly incredible products with people while making a little extra money on the side.

Best wishes,

~Megan